A friend came to my house for coffee. We sat and talked, talking about life. At some point in the conversation, i said, “I’m going to wash the dishes and I’ll be right back.”
He looked at me as if I had told him I was going to build a space rocket. Then he said to me with admiration but a little perplexed: “I’m glad you help your wife, I do not help because when I do my wife does not praise. Last week I washed the floor and no thanks.”
I went back to sit with him and explained that I did not “help” my wife. Actually, my wife does not need help, she needs a partner. I am a partner at home and the society has divided functions, but it is not a “help” as they put it.
I do not help my wife clean the house because I live here too and I need to clean it too.
I do not help my wife to cook because I also want to eat and I need to cook too.
I do not help my wife wash the dishes after eating because I also use those dishes.
I do not help my wife with her children because they are also my children and my job is to be a father.
I do not help my wife to wash, spread or fold clothes, because the clothes are also mine and my children.
I am not a help at home, I am part of the house. And as for praising, I asked my friend when was the last time after his wife finished cleaning the house, washing clothes, changing bed sheets, bathing in her children, cooking, organizing, etc did you praise her and said thank you
But a thank you of the type: Wow, sweetheart !!! You are fantastic!!!
Does that sound absurd to you? When you, once in a lifetime, cleaned the floor, you expected her to praise why? You never thought about that, my friend?
Maybe because for you, the macho culture has shown that everything is her job.
Perhaps you have been taught that all this must be done without having to move a finger? Then praise her as you wanted to be praised, in the same way, with the same intensity. Give her a hand, behave like a true companion, not as a guest who only comes to eat, sleep, bathe and satisfy needs … Feel at home. Its your house.
The real change in our society should begins from our homes, let us teach our sons and daughters the real meaning of responsibility.
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